I did my homework at 6pm while chatting to friends.
At 6:30 or so, my mom comes in and gives me an hour long lecture about how I don't
know who these people are, or accusing them of not going to school, since they spend
so much time talking to me. I was fed up with it, but I didn't say anything.

Hours later, I was typing up my report at 8 pm.
And finished it at 10pm.

I didn't do it Saturday and Friday because I was gathering information...until I had
to go home to my parents' house.
However, when I tried to print it, some of the lines were faded.

So I called my mom, and tried again.
More lines faded.

We looked through my room and found two printer cartridges.
However, they weren't the right ones because the numbers were different. My mom
didn't care.

...

Needless to say, it didn't work.
We tried for half an hour on end, until my dad walked into the room, asking what's
going on.

We explained.
Then my dad tried it and said stuff like, "Why didn't you do it yesterday or the day
before? It's because you play games all the time," or, "Of course these things work,"
or even, "You're such a lazy child."

He then grumbled, and went back to sleep.
I cried for the first time in a long run in front of my mom.

For the first time, I've expressed my feelings.
I said, "It's true, I really am stupid," while crying. However, my mom said that it
wasn't true, and that it's because I don't focus in school. Which was basically
adding fuel to the fire.

When I stopped crying, my mom asked if CVS has printer cartridges right now. I said
yes.
So she went into her bedroom to put on some jeans and go drive.

Then about 10 more minutes, my parents came in the room, and tried to fiddle with
the printer again, because my dad was getting mad at this point. Then, after finally
realizing that we actually need different cartridges, (which I told him, but he
didn't listen) he goes to the bedroom, grumbling about how he has to get up at 5AM
to go to work, and how he's up at this hour.

And now they're gone.

Don't worry, my paternal grandparents are in the other room, sleeping. But still,
while my parents were yelling at me, I couldn't help but think this:

"I know I'm lazy.
I know I'm stupid.
Please don't say anything about it. Please.Stop making me feel horrible about
myself.

Do you know why I talk to these people?

Because they don't hurt me emotionally like you guys.

They give me motivation.
They give me confidence.
They give me compassion. Something you guys have never given in a long run.

Please. I just want to kill myself if I displease you both so much. At least you two
would be happier that way.
I'm sorry I'm such a horrid child.
I'm sorry I'm so lazy.
I'm sorry I'm so stupid.

I want to change, but your yelling and complaining makes me want to rebel and be
even worse of a child you both say I am."

I know I shouldn't think thoughts like that, but I just can't seem to stop, mostly
because it's the truth. I should be grateful that I have parents when a lot of
children out there don't, but I'm not very grateful at all. My friends online back
me up here, saying that my parents are just mean, and that I'm a good person. But
sometimes...I don't feel that way.

Sorry to sound so pathetic of me, I just wanted to vent out my feelings.